1: a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperamentMerriam Webster
2: a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs
I was led to believe that a soulmate was some other person I would meet and they would be external to my physical body. Someone “out there.” This is a lie. A ruse devised to double down on a legacy of broken and disembodied roots. I was sent on a hopeless search for something that cannot be found out there. It’s a search with no outcome but dissatisfaction and ultimately failure.
By explicit device of those who use power to oppress, we are not meant to be whole. We are bodies divided, souls without witness. None of us are whole and nothing the patriarchy has to offer guides us toward unification.
Reunification of the Whole does not occur outside the living body. It occurs within the perineum. By breath and blood and inner knowing the two halves become one, and the soul will see Itself in its perfection.
From an archetype perspective, The King resides in the perineum as that is the seat of power. Until I could feel my perineum from the inside as a distinct organ with its own desire, shape, and weight I could neither fully own nor act from my power. I could not “find my seat” as the meditation teachers direct.
Once I found my seat and began regularly embodying my perineum, I began to receive core sacred truths about my self and body; things I wasn’t supposed to know because I would become too powerful. Perhaps even uncontrollable.
With each monthly cycle, The King arose in more fullness to assert themselves as an actor. I heeded their call and encouraged them. Invited them, coaxed them, and then waited patiently. Listening intently. Moving at a snail’s pace. They acknowledged my invitation and helped me understand that they are my soul’s mate; one half of the sphere that encompasses my pelvis.
They are the sacred masculine and they were immediately known to the sacred feminine, who inhabits the other half of my pelvic sphere. Not only did I come to know this in my mind’s eye through awareness. I came to know it as a physical manifestation.
My perineum opened a literal hidden pocket within my body and there I found the counterpart to my clitoris. This new organ strongly resembles my clitoris in both attitude and construction; they are perfectly suited to one another in temperament. They ebb and flow effortlessly, guiding my fingers in how to best facilitate their energetic and ejaculatory exchange.
This organ and their persona had been hidden my whole life, waiting for my awareness to become sufficiently sensitive that I could hear their message. Waiting for safety. Waiting for the day when I had the strength to guarantee their protection. Waiting for the absence of trauma.
Birthing my son started this knowing. Being partnered with someone devoted to undoing our traumatic inheritance through honesty, acceptance, and practice fueled it. Holistic Peer Counseling, psychotherapy, meditation, planks, and going slow sustains it.
The fact that I am my soul’s own mate does not in any way diminish the benefits I gain from being partnered with an external human body. They are my life mate and an incredibly potent, powerful mirror and ally. It is because of our partnership and the space it affords me that I am able to know what I do about my body, soul, and their divinity.
The important piece here is I no longer expect my partner to mirror or validate my soul. Their soul is not on the hook for that work. They do not and can not complete me. I complete me. I am my soul’s own desire. I am Whole.
Long live The King